


im hrd hbu?

by LeaperSonata



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Cute boyfriends texting, Gen, Gore, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:03:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeaperSonata/pseuds/LeaperSonata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shore Leave is an elite agent of the OSI (SPHINX!). He has a cell phone. And a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	im hrd hbu?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaci3PO](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaci3PO/gifts), [terra_branford](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terra_branford/gifts), [Jougetsu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jougetsu/gifts).



> Thanks to Lan for last-minute betaing! And thanks to my best friend for the idea, and for encouraging me to keep writing it after I started.
> 
> Al and Shore Leave are ADORABLE. I hope you like it!
> 
> (I went to look at letters again and discovered that this ficlet worked for all three of your letters, so it can be a present for ALL OF YOU. Venture Bros for everyone!)

"Shore Leave, keep your mind on the job!" Brock yelled.

Shore Leave flipped him off with his free hand, still typing on his phone with the other while he kicked a mook's nose through his skull. "What- _ever_. I can still outfight any _twelve_ of these goons one-handed. I told Al I would text him, so I'm _texting_ him. If you're not _good_ enough to do two things at once, that's hardly _my_ problem."

Brock threw his knife through the throat of a henchman who had started to raise a gun, then grabbed a nearer one by the neck and used him as a weapon to bludgeon a path through the other grunts to retrieve his knife. "Your mind's not on the job. A higher level dude could come out at any moment, and you wouldn't notice, because you're texting a balding old man who wears hawaiian shirts and likes Jimmy Buffet!"

"Oh, you did _not_ ," Shore Leave snapped, backhanding a mook into the wall so the man's skull made a sickening crunch. "That is my _boyfriend_ you are talking about, and you wouldn't know _hot cock_ from a hole in the bathroom wall. Al's still _got_ it."

"I'm just saying, you're in peak physical condition," Brock pointed out, then ripped out an evil minion's throat with his teeth. Spitting out the lump of flesh and ignoring the blood on his face, he continued, "You could have your pick of men, and you pick _that_?"

Shore Leave huffed in irritation and drove his elbow backwards hard enough to instantly stop the heart of the henchman trying to sneak up behind him. "Al likes _me_ , not just my admittedly _fabulous_ body. Anyway, you can't talk. Still keeping Molotov Cocktease's _panties_ in your locker to sniff?"

"Those were EVIDENCE!" Brock roared, slamming his fist into the head of a downed mook hard enough to turn his skull into paste.

"Whatever helps you _sleep_ at night," Shore Leave scoffed.

 


End file.
